Another ‘dream’ has been put to rest – one that I almost gave up on, actually. The me of 4 years ago always fantasized about dating a true Italian man. The thought of someone whispering sweet nothings in your ear in an accent, or even in Italian (and actually being able to understand them!) sounds so sexy, right!?
Ironically, though I lived in Italy and have deep connections to Italians and the culture, never had this dream come to fruition.
Many of you are aware I openly dated anyone from any background in the past. It was always fun for me to teach them about American culture, and to learn more about other cultures through the eyes of the men I’d date. There is so much deep appreciation I have for them having moved to the US from another country, and the bravery they exuded was so courageous and a major turn on. Dating foreigners or men from varying backgrounds brought significant joy to my life.
The idea of settling down with a foreigner for life is a concept I let go of a couple years ago though. When my ex-boyfriend Avi left to go back to Israel it really took its toll on me. I understood the importance of him returning home to fulfill his duties as a good son (proving to his parents their investment in his education paid off by gaining employment there) but nonetheless, it really hurt to say goodbye. I basically realized I did not want to ever experience something remotely like that again because it gets harder to part ways the older we get.
I got ‘real’ with myself and truly saw myself with building a life with a White American man, and sorta gave up on dating anyone from another country again…until Friday night. 😉
I’m on a couple online dating sites, and a few weeks ago Daniele got in touch. He’s straight up from Italy and has been in the US for 7 years. He is handsome and seems to have things together so I figured I may as well explore this given the fact it’s something I had indeed put out into the Universe (years ago), and thought it’d be fun to explore.
Indeed it was fun being out with someone new from a culture I know so well, and he appreciates that too. He likes it when I speak Italian and it was a good challenge considering it was so long since I’ve spoken it. Indeed later he was whispering things into my ear in Italian!
Though it was somewhat exciting, the more I realized it’s probably not aligned with who I am anymore. SHOCKING!
It showed me that for forever we can think we know what we want, and then when we get it, it may not be all it’s cracked up to be.
The bigger lesson is to be okay noticing the shift within yourself. Who I am today is far removed from who I was 4 years ago.
I am going to see Daniele again at least one more time to be sure about it because you know me, I need to push the limits. I want to be sure about my feelings, and validate the discomfort (or maybe be surprised by the comfort?) now that the awkward first date is out of the way.
There are some things I’m not sure of already about him, so I need to see him one more time. One major discrepancy was his age. His profile said he’s 33, but he told me he’s 31. I didn’t remember for sure what his profile said otherwise I would’ve called that one out right there. Honesty matters…!