Life Changes Aren’t Always So Graceful

In a recent conversation with a friend, she pointed out that I’ve had a lot of major changes within the last 5 – 6 years. changeUntil she listed them out, I didn’t realize how true it is! Here are some of the major ones I can recall that we talked about:

– Drove across country to start a new job and a new life. I moved 3 times in the 4 years I was in the Northwest.renton

kirklandseattle- I quit my dream corporate job, packed up my stuff from the cool city apartment I had and put it into storage so I could move to Europe. Upon returning to the states, I did not have a typical day job to come back to, and essentially didn’t have my own home.

– I lived abroad for 3 mo. without really knowing a soul, and having language as a bit of a barrier.

– Upon returning to the US, I lived with my parents for about a month (it was great to stay for such an extended time through the holidays). It was…interesting…being back in my hometown. I don’t identify with it at all anymore.

– I started my own business (thankfully it’s all worked out!). Considering I knew nothing about running a business, I’m doing really well. ;-)MelissaPeilHeader-SaraMcArdle

– I returned back to Seattle and moved in with Ajith, which was not easy. I didn’t have any of my own things with me except for my clothes (it was all in storage and difficult for me to access). I struggled a lot with that…it felt like I lacked identity. I was in his space with his stuff; difficult to make it feel like it was “ours.”

– Ajith and I broke up after an on/off again 7 years

– I moved across the country to set up a new life in NC againIMG_9362

– Relationships in NC haven’t been the same (I didn’t expect them to be considering time changes everything) but not feeling like I have the same support around me as I did before I moved has been taxing. I’m grateful for those who are here, don’t get me wrong, but it is different.

– I had a really nice relationship with Avi last year which ended when he went back home to Israel. Letting go was definitely hard…he is the sweetest person I’ve dated so far. I’m fortunate though to still be in touch with him.Avi and I

– My health was in jeopardy this year with elevated liver enzymes. I’ve healed my liver naturally using food and natural supplements as my medicine, and now I am back to ‘normal.’ :-)medicine

– I went gluten-free in February and have made a commitment to go to the gym 3x’s weekly – huge lifestyle changes.Gluten Free

get in shape

– The reality of being a mid-30-something and feeling like I don’t belong where I am is sinking in. belonging- Therefore I’m relocating (again) to Boston in the Spring, once winter is over. ;-) I am grateful that my intuition speaks so clearly to me that it’s obvious Boston is where something next for me is at.

One of my friends commended me that I seem to handle change flawlessly. That is not the case… I told her about one of my most memorable moments when I was NOT doing okay with change and felt like I was crumbling.

The moment I sat on the airplane the day I left to move to Italy is when I fell apart. I couldn’t believe that I was finally there, in the very moment I had spent months preparing for. It hit me all at once that I quit my job, didn’t have a home, was praying that the school I was supposed to go to learn Italian at was legit/not a scam, and realized that all the possessions I needed for the next 4 months were in a suitcase I checked (hoping it’d arrive safely in Italy with me). I didn’t know what to expect, but I knew so much was riding on that moment. Talk about pressure and freaking out!!!pressure

I recall it took me about 5-6 weeks before I embraced la dolce vita.

la-dolce-vitaThere was one evening it clicked and I just felt at complete ease, realizing the biggest decision right then was, “What restaurant should I eat at tonight?” It was that moment that was worth every bit of self-doubt, questioning, worrying, and stress I had experienced previously! I shifted energetically, and that sense of peace and tranquility is what I’m striving for again though this time right now is challenging.

I am embracing change, little by little, trying to do so with ease, kindness, and patience with myself. embracing easeToo often we forget to nurture ourselves, and put more added pressure when it’s not necessary. This is something I’m working on releasing…a process constantly evolving. We also forget to give ourselves credit for all we do, which is why it’s amazing to list out the (major) events of my own life over the past few years. kindnessIt’s a lot to digest…and it’s even more courageous to follow the path less traveled. :-) Cheers to that!cheers


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Embracing My Inner Rebel

I did it!!!! My inner rebel has been unleashed…!!!

20141003_165628Last night I decided it was time. I had a nice visit with my parents last week. They left on Tuesday afternoon. During their visit, we visited family friends who have a daughter who is pierced and tattooed all over. Afterward I was able to bring up with my mom how I could handle dealing with a nose stud (wink wink!), but not the type of nose ring that goes between the nostrils (reminding me of a bull). My mom agreed, and admitted that no matter what this family friend looks like, she still loves her. You better believe I’ll remind her of this if I get a negative reaction!!!

One lesson I learned this week from a client I worked with: often we initiate the reaction from others by assuming what they’ll say or do. This client’s Spirit Guides were very clear that she was blocking others’ authentic reactions by putting up her guard and expecting them to be a certain way, preventing others’ true reactions from shining through because they were reacting to her behavior. I absolutely am keeping this in mind. :-)

Anyway…I chose to go to Dogstar Tattoo because of the wonderful reviews I found online. Everyone raved about its cleanliness and sterile environment, and many praised Shea, the piercer. I was amazed how different this place was from what I expected! It was clean, bright, had music playing at a low volume, and everyone who worked there was very warm and welcoming.

20141002_195358Shea helped me pick out which stud would be best for me (I wanted something small and flush to the nose without standing out completely). I was shocked to see how large the nose piece really is! Luckily he twisted it and manipulated it to fit my nose contour the best so it doesn’t move around inside. I had no idea about any of that…look at the size! My stud is the thing at the bottom of the picture. It looks like a nail I’d use to hang up photos on the wall!

20141002_191307The actual procedure definitely hurt for about 3 seconds but after that it was over. It came out beautifully!

20141002_195521I feel like I’m complete in a way I haven’t ever felt before – how strange (and cool)! I have been feeling a little ‘flat’ lately and I feel the zest coming back. Who knew something so small would make such a huge difference?

I ordered a small silver stud (the one I have is a small cubic zirconia) and will go back to them in about a month so they can change it out. I truly wanted a small silver stud but they didn’t have any in stock. I’ll see how that looks in comparison. Meanwhile, I’m just getting used to the look of this but in all, I’m very pleased with how it turned out!

Can you believe I did it!? Another dream that I made come true! It only took about 4 years since my first urge before I leaned in to it. Better late than never!

In my last post, I forgot to mention that this is the second time I’ve had this urge (which is why I felt it was important to pay attention to). The last time was just before I turned 30. I had just gone through one of the toughest times in my life, and the calling came just shortly after. I think this nose piercing somehow symbolizes self-empowerment, freedom, and independence for me. This time around the urge came back after my Boston trip (which really helped me embrace the changes I’m making). It’s fun to see similarities amongst the urges…and more importantly it’s fun giving into them (it’s about time!). :-)

Random fact: I know a number of people who have nose piercings. You know how they say people are our mirrors, right? I counted up 11 people off the top of my head who have their nose pierced. I think it’s a sign!

When I was featured as a contributing author in Kids Who See Ghosts I counted up the number of people I know who published books, and it was over 20! That seems rare to know so many authors…another sign I must be destined to really write the book I’m being intuitively called to write. Very interesting!

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Transformation and Change

Last Saturday was big – I chopped about 6 1/2″ of my hair off to get a new look. The ladies I’ve been mentoring have all seen this in their visions of me in the last year, and finally I felt ready to embrace it, and I LOVE it!! One of my mentees/friends, Wendy, came with me for support.

I was a *wee bit* nervous watching the hair come off…


You can see how much was chopped!


It came out beautifully though! I think I was in awe! It’s soooo sleek!



This inspired me to go out and buy some new clothes, too. After spending time in Boston I realized how much my wardrobe needs to get bumped up to fit in, plus it’s been something I’ve been considering for a while. My body’s been changing, I feel different, and I look different so it’s time to update!

I realized I haven’t bought new clothes in probably 6 years, and it’s no wonder what I own doesn’t make me feel good. I’ve gone through some HUGE shifts in the last few years and it’s time to embrace who I am and who I want to become. :-)

The next kicker: I’ve had this strong urge to get my nose pierced! I have no idea where it’s coming from, but I do know that this is the 2nd time I’ve had such a calling to do so. Twice is definitely something to pay attention to!

The last time this happened was when I lived in Seattle, and I remember being dumbfounded by this desire because that so wasn’t “me.” I still sort of feel this way, but the urge is way stronger than what I believe to be me is, so I think I’m going to do it – crazy right? I believe it goes back to a past life because I’ve always had this little hole on my nose on the right side, just where a piercing would go. I am thinking about using that spot. I just want a teeny little stud as an accessory, nothing that would stand out much. Hmm…gotta do some research about where I would go get it done. I’m still warming up to the idea. I think it may give me some empowerment though.

I think it’s all signaling big things are happening nonetheless!

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Cape Cod – 20 Years in the Making!

In mid-August my best friend growing up, Jenni, and I took a week long trip to Cape Cod…it was beautiful!

Cape Cod

When we were 14, I got to go with her family to Cape Cod for vacation. We had a BLAST! For our 14 year old selves, the highlight of our trip was being on the Mass Turnpike and seeing a kid in another van that looked just LIKE Thomas Ian Nicholas, one of the newest child stars featured in some newly released movies, like “Rookie of the Year”!!!

Thomas Ian Nicholas

Us, being the girly girls we were, had BOP and Teen Beat magazines with us and were comparing the pictures in the magazines to the boy we were seeing (asleep) in the van. I got the attention of the woman in the front passenger seat of the van, and pointed back and forth between the pictures in the magazine to the boy sitting behind her, basically asking “Is that HIM!?!?” and she smiled, and shook her head yes!!!!!  Hahaha that made our trip fun, for sure!

The funnier part: one week later when we were heading back to NY on the Mass Turnpike, once again, we saw the SAME white conversion van with the pink pin stripe with IL license plates…and we got to see him AGAIN! What are the chances!?!

Sidenote: posting this pic of him so young makes me feel like a pervert! Here’s a picture of what he looks like today. I’d still be pretty excited if I saw him now. :-) You’ll recognize him from American Pie – one of the best movies of my generation, also!Thomas Ian Nicholas2ANYWAY…we had such a fun time at the Cape when we were young we told ourselves back then that we’d like to come back when we were older. So….this year things lined up and we decided to do it!

We rented a house in Dennisport, different from Welfleet where we stayed previously. It was a perfect space for us – it had 2 bedrooms, a nice living room, and a kitchen with a screened in patio and a grill. We were able to cook at home sometimes and we ate out at a variety of gluten-free friendly restaurants too. :-)

We spent a total of 3 days at the beach throughout the week – wow, the water was cold! BUT the rest was beautiful!beach3beach

We took a day trip into Boston also. I wanted to get around to see “a day in the life” of some of the neighborhoods I’m considering living in when I make my move. We went to Cambridge, which I wasn’t a fan of. It reminded me of the Park Ave. area of Rochester…but in Boston! If I’m going to live in Boston, I want the Boston experience (not Rochester in Boston)!

Beacon Hill is absolutely gorgeous and quaint…I’m sold! Plus, it helps that my Spirit Guides told me before I ever went to Boston that I should live in the gaslight district of the city – well, here it is! Apparently they converted the lamps from gas to electric a few years back, but it’s still just as gorgeous!

Beacon HillThis next picture is the most photographed street in the entire US – so beautiful! The cobblestone street is preserved as it was way back when.

Beacon Hill 2We also went to Little Italy (aka as The North End) for dinner.

North End

We were meeting up with a guy in Boston I’d been chatting with for a while, and it was a lot of fun! We had drinks before hand, then had a fabulous dinner together at Ristorante Fiore.

fioreIMG956558After dinner we had some cannolis then went out for cappuccino…mmm! My idea of a perfect night out in Boston!


We also made a day trip to Martha’s Vineyard, where we each bought a new pair of sunglasses.


We also went to Provincetown for a day, with a stop at a local winery!

20140822_144549wine tastingIn all, this was a fabulous trip away, and well worth the 20 year wait! Another dream that was in the making that came true!

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It’s Good to Be Me Again!

Some of you know that I’ve recently been going through some health issues. I found out in early December through working with a friend (Amanda) who’s a holistic healthcare provider/chiropractor that my liver wasn’t functioning correctly. In short, my blood results showed the liver was working harder than it should, and I wasn’t absorbing the normal levels of Vitamin B12, Folic Acid, Calcium, Vitamin D, Protein, and my hormones were off. Amanda put me on natural supplements to detox my liver and bowels, and told me I needed to go gluten-free. Initially this panicked me and I felt like I would be missing out on so much. I knew that I had to embrace it though, there were no other choices!

Long story short, I got through the detoxes alright though it was a challenge. I did the bowel detox while I was away on my trip to Seattle, which just happened to fall this way. Believe me, doing a detox while on “vacation” isn’t easy, but I saw the bigger picture that it was essential. I needed to not only detox my body, but emotional baggage around the life I lived in Seattle for nearly 4 years.

I was on a strict diet for the first week in Seattle: juicing my breakfast, having a large salad with veggies for lunch, and a dinner consisting of chicken and vegetables. I’ve never had to be so diligent in my life, but it paid off. The second week I was “just” gluten-free, and it felt like  a world of options were available to me in comparison to what I had been eating. This was the BEST way to transition into a gluten-free lifestyle let me say!!! Total I lost 6 lbs. while away!

Since returning back to NC 3 weeks ago, I have had some significant changes going on within myself. I needed about 2 weeks of down time to recover from the rough trip. Only this week have I started to come out of hibernation, and I feel normal again. Last week I went back to Amanda to get more supplements and since then I’ve been a different person! I feel comfortable, relaxed, excited, happy, and in my flow with energy. I honestly have to say I haven’t felt this way in nearly 5 1/2 years, since I moved away from NC. I cannot begin to tell you what a difference I feel!!!  It hit me tonight how free I feel – it’s like all the pieces are back in place again and I feel I can pick up my life where I left off before leaving NC to move to WA. Wow…

I know that with Amanda’s help and guidance, I’m regaining a grip on life again and feeling like “me.” I cannot begin to thank her enough for her help, patience, and expertise. Whatever we’re doing together is working, and I’m just amazed!!! Even more so, I’m grateful to the Universe who brought us together. The grand master plan of life leaves me in a place of awe at times how we connect with the right people at the right time. :-)DrKeates-400

An added bonus: I’ve even been waking up before my alarm the past few days…that rarely happens! I am curious to see how my treatments continue to make me feel! So far I’ve lost 9 lbs. in 4 weeks….I want this trend to continue! It’s a sign I’m coming back into a place of balance and I am so, so grateful! balance

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Office Space

Last year when I moved back to Raleigh, I wasn’t sure how my business was going to go. I told myself I’d give it one year before making any big decisions, like getting office space. In this year, the demand has been more than I could’ve imagined and I keep busy with business daily. :-) Success! Back a couple months ago I decided it was a wise choice to start working away from home, and it was a matter of finding the right space.  On the one year anniversary date of coming back into town, I found that perfect spot in an old, historic home in downtown Raleigh! HouseI just began working there this week, and just put the finishing touches on the space. When you first walk in through the doorway, you see this: Office1I LOVE all the windows and natural light!! After living in the Pacific Northwest, I value sunshine a LOT!

I have my own private entrance, too. I’m standing at the doorway of that entrance so you can see the room from another perspective:Office2I love the art. It is a print from a local photographer. I found a great deal to get it put on canvas. It was a good choice!

Standing now from the corner of the couch (looking toward the entry way):Office3I was excited to find a storage chest too that’s truly an ottoman. I can store supplies in there, and yet it fits in well.

So far I’m excited to be working away from home. It’s fun to put together this space. Another dream has come true! :-) When we focus our energy toward creating what we want, it truly is delivered.

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Ode to Seattle!

I cannot believe it’s been 1 year now since I left The Emerald City…time has flown so fast! In fact, this has been the fastest year of my life. I TRULY do not believe what a difference a year makes. I was anxious leaving Seattle, not knowing what to expect coming back to Raleigh. Luckily, things are aligning nicely and I feel this was the right choice to come “home” after nearly 4 years away.

Over the last few days, I’ve been finding myself reflecting back on the good times and fun that I had while I was there. Some things particularly that I miss about being there:

– Rooftop deck parties. Every July 4, a friend would always host a lot of people at his place. We’d get this great view of Lake Union, awaiting the fireworks. BEAUTIFUL!IMG_9228

This is the rooftop deck from the apartment building Ajith and I lived in:RooftopEvery time I hear this song, I can’t help but smile when they sing “There’s a party on the rooftop, top of the world..”

– Endless Festivals at the Seattle Center. Seattle CenterI’m aware this weekend is the Bite of Seattle – a favorite where local restaurants showcase their best food. It was GREAT being able to walk 5 min. and be in the middle of all the action without having to worry about parking.

I LOVED walking around here at night, too! My favorite part were these arches by the Pacific Science Center. They change colors for sporting events, holidays, etc. So fun!Night View- The beautiful, breathtaking views Ajith and I would enjoy after work from atop our building View- Health-conscious living. I am still always in awe by the amount of restaurants that offer vegan and gluten-free options. Amongst my favorites:Chaco CanyonPlum Bistro- How environmentally conscious that city is. Recycling is everywhere!  RecycleIf they can do it, why can’t every other place? The apartment complex I live in doesn’t even recycle GLASS!!! How ridiculous is that?!

Anyway…I’m sort of missing the fun summer time stuff this city offers, but am glad to be where I am today, too. I needed to reflect today…it warms my soul. :-)

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