For my entire life, I was curious what it was like to date someone Italian (from Italy), not necessarily Italian-American. I have certainly gotten my taste of it, and have to admit that I don’t like it. 😮
This may come as a surprise but there was more stuff I didn’t know about. My Italian friend (who lives near Florence) told me that he was concerned I was living in the South of Italy. He knows men here are different than the north, specifically with their mentality. Yup, he was right.
In short, Ivan talked down to me one night and talked over me in a loud, condescending way. He flat out called me a liar and told me I wasn’t sincere and he didn’t trust me. Umm….ok…?
This stemmed from him asking me what I was doing, which, in that moment, I was doing family history research (I’m preparing to meet long lost family soon). He flipped like a switch, and told me I should give up on it now, it’d never happen. He questioned why I wanted to track them down, and I told him I’d wondered about them forever and was curious. It’s the truth. Anyone who knows me knows this. He had the gall to turn it around that I was looking for citizenship!!! This is why I suddenly became a liar 😉 Mmm hmm…
I had a gut feeling the first time I met him he was looking for US citizenship because he mentioned something to me about the fact if I married an Italian I could get citizenship within a week (but in turn, he could also be eligible for American citizenship). “So what?” I thought. That’s not important to me – I could get it on my own. I think he realized this, and didn’t like that I didn’t ‘need’ him for something, and it threatened him.
He also conveniently didn’t remember that I told him about meeting my Sicilian family last year. He told me I never told him, though I did. I showed him a video of my family in Rochester speaking Italian for my Sicilian relatives at Christmas, and told him why they were speaking Italian.
All these things lead me to believe he:
- is super controlling
- hates to be wrong
- wants a woman who’s helpless so he can be needed
- has the ability to flip like a switch
The upshot of the deal: the next day, he wrote me text messages calling me “tesoro” and sending sweet things, as if nothing happened. RIIIIIIIGGGGHHHHT buddy…
When I called him to set it straight and end the ‘relationship’ he started off asking me if I was sorry for what happened the night before. WHAT!? Seriously!?!?!
I’m glad I dodged this bullet. He’s PSYCHO and a narcissist. It was great to call it as it is, and put an end to that. Yikes!
Good thing: I have zero need to look for an Italian man ever again. If it happens, it does. If not, that’s totally okay too. The long anticipated dream is over! I’m glad I scratched the itch and there’s no unanswered questions.