Feeling This Moment!

great-day-square1My day began with this quote in my inbox:

Always, Melissa, when you just don’t know what you want, want happiness; and when you just don’t know what to do, do anything.

You can start today,
    The Universe

This started it all off right! I am excited to say today was THE BEST day I’ve had in months, if not in over a year! I’ll explain…

  • I had the most fantastic day working with clients. I had some “favorites” on my schedule as well as new clients who were referred to me. They each brought something unique to the table and I walked away knowing I kicked ass helping them, and the inner joy and personal power from being on top of my game was SKY HIGH. I felt like I was standing on top of the world! Truly, it made me feel a little ungrounded but in a positive way. I felt like a little girl with so much excitement and happiness built up I didn’t know how to handle it. Who can’t handle a little JOY in their life!?tinashe-on-instagram-2
  • The last client I read for was so inspiring to me – she too was experiencing so much joy and through feeling her joy, it enhanced mine.:-) Times like this is GREAT to be an empath and feel what others feel!img_9377
  • This same client recently got back from vacation in Italy. When I asked her what her favorite part was, I started to cry as she commented how connected and tight-knit the community there is, and how impressive and loving it is. That is SO true! She also commented how she ate her way through Italy, and took the advice I gave her to simply use her nose to smell her way to the best restaurants that are often hidden little gems.:-)

This little chat was the icing on the cake for me…(haha, see below!)

About a week ago, one of my “friends” I met while I lived in Italy got married. He posted a million pictures and some videos of the big event, and let me say, his family spared no expense for this wedding (clearly!). Who has ever had a cake as tall as themselves!?!manuel 2ManuelSeeing the pictures and videos and all the people I got to know in the short time I spent in Tropea made me miss it – A LOT. They know how to have FUN, that’s for sure! This sparked up something big inside me actually, and made me think about wanting to go back to Italy. At first I thought I was crazy to think about taking 2 international trips within a short time of each other.

Spoiler alert: I am going to Ireland in July, I haven’t blogged about that yet! That’s a whole other dream coming true!  :-)

I knew I was probably getting caught up in the possibility (maybe not the reality), so I told myself I’d sit on this feeling for a few days before giving any serious thought to it. Well, over the last week I’ve had dreams about it in my sleep, and I’ve been chatting with a friend in Italy who is trying to convince me to come back and enjoy some time there. Then with my client sharing what she did…it brought up emotions I haven’t felt in a while. The best synchronicity: when my client and I were on our phone appointment, a man walked by her in the park who was speaking Italian! Haha.

A little bit later, my Spirit Guides popped this song into my head, which I started laughing/crying/getting goosebumps as I listened to the words of “I Just Wanna Feel This Moment.”

Between my feelings of being drawn to Italy and my client’s observations and descriptions, I felt like I was feeling and living in the magic and needed to keep the energy alive. I chose to spend the night in the North End of Boston to soak up the Italian(-American) culture and indulge in the little delicacies of Italy.

On my walk over there, I started to cry upon running into this sign:Indulge in Every Experience

It reminded me of 5 years ago. A few days before I left the US, I ran into this sign going to my hair appointment.what's your dream It struck me in such a way to confirm as a sign I was in the right place at the right time doing what was best for my path. Here I was again tonight, and this other sign was clearly in my path.:-)

So…as crazy as it seems, I may be returning back to Italy in the fall. It’s craaaazzzy it’s been nearly 5 years since that dream came to fruition. I’m sure there’s more that will unfold about this one if it’s meant to happen. Meanwhile, I’ll sit back and respect the flow of the energy and follow wherever my heart takes me, as it always leads the way. flow

 

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Teenage Dream – Check!

I feel silly writing about this, but it’s just for fun! My best friend growing up can especially appreciate it.

Back in 8th Grade Italian class, we used this book that had a character named “Renzo” in it. Since then the name has been sort of an inside joke between us. We’ve always had fun with it.

renzo-designstyle-love-heart-m

I had to laugh when on an online dating app recently when I came across a guy named Renzo! I took a screen shot and sent it to my best friend immediately, letting her know, “Renzo really does exist!”

I was even MORE excited to actually go out on a date with him! He is very nice, handsome, and has a lot going for him. Ironically, he’s from Peru but has an Italian mom (hence, the Italian name).  Though we had a nice night out together but won’t be moving forward. Regardless, RENZO is now checked off the list! LOL

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Ciao, Guido!

Another ‘dream’ has been put to rest – one that I almost gave up on, actually. The me of 4 years ago always fantasized about dating a true Italian man. The thought of someone whispering sweet nothings in your ear in an accent, or even in Italian (and actually being able to understand them!) sounds so sexy, right!?

Ironically, though I lived in Italy and have deep connections to Italians and the culture, never had this dream come to fruition.

Many of you are aware I openly dated anyone from any background in the past. It was always fun for me to teach them about American culture, and to learn more about other cultures through the eyes of the men I’d date. There is so much deep appreciation I have for them having moved to the US from another country, and the bravery they exuded was so courageous and a major turn on. Dating foreigners or men from varying backgrounds brought significant joy to my life.

The idea of settling down with a foreigner for life is a concept I let go of a couple years ago though.  When my ex-boyfriend Avi left to go back to Israel it really took its toll on me. I understood the importance of him returning home to fulfill his duties as a good son (proving to his parents their investment in his education paid off by gaining employment there) but nonetheless, it really hurt to say goodbye. I basically realized I did not want to ever experience something remotely like that again because it gets harder to part ways the older we get. 

I got ‘real’ with myself and truly saw myself with building a life with a White American man, and sorta gave up on dating anyone from another country again…until Friday night.😉

I’m on a couple online dating sites, and a few weeks ago Daniele got in touch. He’s straight up from Italy and has been in the US for 7 years. He is handsome and seems to have things together so I figured I may as well explore this given the fact it’s something I had indeed put out into the Universe (years ago), and thought it’d be fun to explore.

Indeed it was fun being out with someone new from a culture I know so well, and he appreciates that too. He likes it when I speak Italian and it was a good challenge considering it was so long since I’ve spoken it. Indeed later he was whispering things into my ear in Italian!

Though it was somewhat exciting, the more I realized it’s probably not aligned with who I am anymore. SHOCKING!

It showed me that for forever we can think we know what we want, and then when we get it, it may not be all it’s cracked up to be.

The bigger lesson is to be okay noticing the shift within yourself. Who I am today is far removed from who I was 4 years ago.

I am going to see Daniele again at least one more time to be sure about it because you know me, I need to push the limits. I want to be sure about my feelings, and validate the discomfort (or maybe be surprised by the comfort?) now that the awkward first date is out of the way.

There are some things I’m not sure of already about him, so I need to see him one more time. One major discrepancy was his age. His profile said he’s 33, but he told me he’s 31. I didn’t remember for sure what his profile said otherwise I would’ve called that one out right there. Honesty matters…!

 

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Another Dream Accomplished!

I had a great day today going apple picking at one of the farms nearby. On my way back, I couldn’t help but take in all the beauty surrounding me. I had always dreamed of “getting lost” on a winding road in this area to just take it all in…and here it was!

Leaves

The actual apple picking was cool.:-) Apparently it’s a real “New England” thing to do…so I had to check it out. I’ll have apples for a while now!apples

I even tried a cider donut I’ve heard so much about. I think I’ve had them before but didn’t realize what kind it was. I’m glad I tried it but don’t need to have it again. Cider Donut

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Big Shifts

This has been quite a week! I’m taking part of the day today to just let it all settle and sink in. Sometimes I don’t recognize my own life as it continues to twist, turn, and swirl all around. 

I know it’s the bigger picture of coming to a place of calm and balance but sometimes it’s just not easy. I’ve learned to accept that, and it’s ok.:-) I feel in a sense like something is off or missing, I just can’t quite put my finger on it yet, but I also feel I may not need to know just yet either until all the purging/shifting has settled.

I don’t really know where to start? I guess in a nutshell I’ll try to summarize:

  • I had a really strong reaction to the word “hook up” recently when someone used it with me. Though I’ve had a “go with the flow” attitude this summer about who I chose to be with, suddenly this word set me off. I realized the flowing attitude no longer serves me, but instead I need someone more stable/serious in my life.
  • Last Friday night I was out, and some guy said to me that typically he isn’t attracted to girls with nose piercings, but it was “fine for a fun Friday night.”
  • That REALLY set me off! No no no! Not the vibe I want anyone to EVER think of me as!  This brought me back to a guy I was seeing last year who said he was seeking a girl who was more than a “fun Friday night” and someone who’d be at his side during the day on a Saturday. I’d never heard this term before…so when this guy last week said this, it was a HUGE button.
  • I saw this last week and it evoked another large reaction within my body:
  • I’ve done this in the past, and I thought I learned…but because it brought something up in me, I realized that I still tend to do this. I worked so hard last year to focus in on learning how to live in a more heart-centered way, meaning that wanted equal give and take in any relationship I have. I’ve noticed recently I was deviating from that, and I’m glad my body spoke so loudly to me that I needed to stop.
  • My sacral chakra FINALLY has calmed down and I feel balanced for the first time in nearly 6 mo.  A visit with Matt (my musician friend) helped me with this. I returned home with a new perspective! I went to bed, and woke up 2 hours later with an amazing sense of peace in my sacral, and I could feel heat leaving my body all over, particularly through my feet. I felt grounded in a way my root hasn’t yet felt since moving to MA! I checked in with my guides, who told me I was getting balanced for the first time in a while, and they told me to finish the process to take an epsom salt bath, so I did that morning. I felt fresh and renewed!
  • I went out with a new guy twice last week who was the complete opposite of all this – he is the package, and certainly intrigues me. It’s clear he’s got himself together, is looking for something real, and is a complete and total gentleman. I love how the Universe throws me such opposites.😉
  • Labels are getting the best of me. I am tired of not being accepted and/or judged for being me for one reason or another. I live in Beacon Hill (a big deal in Boston), I live alone (a rarity), I am psychic (people often back away), I have a nose piercing (I’m a rebel), and I’m not Jewish (the last 3 men I’ve been interested in have been, and it causes conflict). GRRRRR!  It was disheartening to me the other day and I just had to cry. Why can’t people be okay with each other as we are? 

Between my reaction to the word hooking up, the reaction I had about that guy saying what he did to me about my nose piercing being ok for a Friday night, and my need to cry/release emotions about labels, I think it’s clear that the path I’ve been on is shifting and the vibe I’ve been giving is out of alignment with where my soul now is. I pay attention to such things in 3’s, and the common denominator is me.

I’ve been debating removing my nose piercing for a couple months now, and it came to me that now it’s time to remove it. I asked for 3 specific opportunities for self-empowerment (which is what my little stud was helping me to embrace) and I’ve recently realized that I’ve gotten those opportunities to stand up for myself as I feel more strong and solid in my solar plexus. Therefore, the little stud can now be removed.:-) I’ve only had it a little over a year. It’s a great reminder how much can change in a relatively short amount of time!

I removed it the other day, and I haven’t missed it, felt like something is missing from within me, or anything. This is a huge shift from when I tried to take it out in Feb. or March. I think I really got what I needed out of it. It’s fun to watch the hole closing up, as it symbolizes the closing of one phase of life, making room for the next thing to open. 

Matt recommended his massage therapist/energy worker to me, and I had an appointment the other day. I needed it so badly, as I could feel all the shifting going on…I had to wonder what it was doing to me physically. Indeed, there were a lot of ‘stuck’ points he was able to release and I felt SO much better! I couldn’t believe but the appointment took 2.5 hours! I also exchanged services this week with a sound healer which was cool.

I finally am realizing that I need to come out of my safe little cocoon of my apartment and start trying to make friends here.

I’ve been enjoying the still of the silence in a sense, yet I’m feeling like I’m ready for more. Having nearly 6 months of “quiet” time has been such a gift, and I’ve appreciated every moment of it…BUT I’m now feeling ready to get back to simple things that make me happy, like having girl talk, going to events with other people, and just having someone I can see in person to “just be” with or make dinner for.

Luckily, in a couple weeks I’m returning back to NC to visit with my dear friends who I miss and love so much. I know the timing is perfect. It’ll give me a renewed sense of self and the reassurance I need to move forward. I look so forward to it!

I’m also excited to work in my old office space again and see clients who really love and appreciate what I do. I have missed having an abundance of in-person sessions (though they are picking up) because there’s nothing like that human contact to impact someone else.

On a totally separate note, I had a sad day yesterday missing my mom. I allowed myself a quiet day to just sit and cry, listening to old voice mails from her, looked at pictures, and reflected upon how much one learns from another person if we are open to allowing it.

Last night, I went to Rhode Island for the first time.

An acquaintance of mine knows someone in the Spiritual community he wanted to introduce me to, and I’m glad I went. Eddie is a man who heads up various events in RI and I would like to get in on their psychic fairs. He made me sit down immediately and give him a reading! I didn’t expect that!!!  I think this is a step in the right direction to finding “my people.”

So, there you have it – quite the week of ups and downs!

On a separate note, I am going to start reading the Kabbalah. Matt suggested it to me, and I honestly am excited to read it. It’s been a while since I’ve been drawn to read something new. Maybe this will help enlighten me some more and give me a new spark of light that I’ve been missing?

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Living a Soulful Life

I found this posted in one of the e-newsletters I’m signed up for and I’m always very inspired by it! This is definitely going in my journal as well as on my refrigerator as a good reminder. I thought you’d enjoy it too!Soulful life

Great inspiration for this Sunday!

Yes to Life

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The Importance of Where You Are and Where You’ve Been

I love getting to know new people because I learn so much about them, but also it helps me to see things about myself in that they mirror.  I had an important lesson reflected back in my face again the other night while spending time with my new “friend.” He’s a great guy based on what I can tell so far. He’s spiritual, very family oriented, educated, helps run his family’s business, and is extremely creative. I didn’t quite understand how much so until recently.

He told me he creates songs, plays in a band, etc. and when I asked what his goals were with his ‘creating music’ his response was that he’d like to have a well-known hit. Ok, cool…I didn’t realize to the extent that he’s into all this until we kept going further.

Without disclosing much to protect his identity, he’s a local artist indeed, but goes on tour and has played with or opened for other well known artists. He’s also had his music featured in many TV shows and tours in some big places around the US! Talk about being impressed!?! Not to mention, he’s so humble and basically built himself from nothing. Anyone reading this would think that’s really cool and that he’s quite successful, right? In his eyes, he still wants more (!). I get it…we all want more, but he seems to have forgotten something quite critical:

Give yourself credit for where you’ve been so you have a sense of fulfillment and satisfaction while enjoying the moment. Let the joy you feel be the fuel to move forward, a few steps at a time.

I relate to him a ton – he was just a normal guy who got turned on to a spiritual way of life after a sports injury. He’s using his spiritual connection to create music and turn his passion into a career. Sometimes it takes life transforming things to open you up to new things…that’s how it was for me and the passing of my grandfather to open me up to God and the Universe. Never 10 years ago would I have believed someone if they told me I’d be a successful full-time psychic!

Along the way I’ve taken major risks, made even bigger strides, and I do it sometimes flawlessly because I only take a few steps at a time, rather than planning so far in advance that I feel defeated before I start. Sure, we all want more, but I’m grateful for where I am. In my opinion that helps give us more momentum to keep going for more because it keeps one balanced. He is rushing to get to the top and is getting frustrated…and I see why. I invited him to consider recognizing the steps he’s taken and the accomplishments he’s made so maybe things will shift. He’s obviously got talent and a major passion – nothing is worse than when you block yourself though because you feel you’re lacking and you end up pushing too hard. He is creating and living out his dreams – I hope he allows the space for them to divinely happen.

With that in mind, I need to take the time to reflect upon what I’ve done well and what goals I want to continue to reach for regarding my passion/business. I’ll certainly begin with the glass 1/2 full though!:-)

Thankful

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